A couple of months ago we were leaving my Mom’s house and I told Hudson it was time to go. His reaction was to hide because he didn’t want to go. Here’s how he did it…
So he hasn’t really gotten how to hide yet. But it is super cute. But in the midst of his small cuteness I realized something about myself.
Isn’t this exactly what I do with God? Hide in ineffective ways?
When I sin, when I fail, when I screw up, I often try to hide from God. I try to cover up my shame, my guilt, and my failure, hoping that God won’t see. This is something that I think is part of human nature. What do Adam and Eve do when they mess up? They hide. What do children do when they screw up? They hide. Rather than dealing with the mess, we hide, hoping no one will notice us hiding in the bushes.
The point for me is simple: in so many ways I’m still a child. What I mean by this is that my desire to hide, my desire to cover up my shame shows that in some way, I’m fearful of God. That at some level I haven’t truly grasped the truth that God is grace, that God is love, that God is a gift. That in some ways I haven’t grown up and matured to realize that God cares about me more than any mess I create. And instead of going confidently into his presence, as Hebrews tells us, I hide. Rather than dealing with God, I try to cover my face in some branches.
So while this picture makes me smile, it also makes me think about what I truly believe about God deep down. Do I fundamentally think that God is someone who I need to hide from? Do I believe really that Jesus is someone I wouldn’t want to meet in the middle of my mess? Because the picture of Jesus and God in the gospels is someone full of grace. It’s a picture of someone who drew to him all the broken, messy, and sinful people. It’s a picture of someone you never want to hide from.
So the next time I’m tempted to hide, I’m going to trust in the God revealed in Jesus Christ. I’m going to trust in grace, I’m going to trust in his gift, I’m going to trust in God. And I’m going to walk up to him and say, “I screwed up, here is my mess, help me.”
But what about you? The next time you feel full of guilt, shame, and sin, rather than hiding, why not start talking? Why not open up with him about anything that you’ve been shoving down and away? Why not bring him in, so that healing and grace can be part of that area of your life?
Because I’ve also learned something from Hudson: putting your face behind branches doesn’t really work anyway…