On Sunday we briefly talked about what to do when we are betrayed, through following the example of Jesus. Jesus, as he is being nailed to the cross says, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”. From this we realized three things. First, was that hurt people end up hurting people. We also talked about how Jesus doesn’t see his betrayers as enemies, but as broken people needing forgiveness. And lastly, that Jesus takes his betrayal to God, praying to the Father for their forgiveness.
The main point we ended on was that if we want to deal with our betrayal in the way of Jesus, we need to be like him. We need to take our betrayal to God. To give up our desire for justice our way, and give it over to him.
By this I don’t mean that we don’t create good boundaries, that we forget what happened, or that things go back to the way they were. Broken trust creates consequences. What I am saying is that the personal hurt that happens to us needs to be dealt with in a Jesus-like way. And the way Jesus deals with his betrayal and hurt isn’t to see those who betrayed him as enemies; but instead to see them as broken people needing forgiveness. Jesus also chooses to forgive, and pray for their forgiveness. In essence, he takes his betrayal and he leaves it with God.
I believe this is what we are called to do.
The problem is I often don’t want to. I want to hold on to my betrayal, bitterness, and judgement. I don’t want to give it up. My hurt starts to feel normal, justified, and right. And sometimes it is so hard to give over those deep betrayals. We feel we need to hold onto them and to fight for justice. I’m not saying those feelings aren’t right. What I am saying is that I have stronger feelings when I look at Jesus. When I see him, I want to be like him more than I want to hold onto my hurt. I want to be like him more than I want to hold onto being right, or my version of justice.
So I’ve decided to give up my hurts, betrayals, and give them over to God. I am in no way saying it’s easy; I’m just saying it’s Jesus-like. And that’s enough for me. What about you?